the sacrifice of pain

dear emily,

there are oceans of joy and laughter in raising children.  unfortunately,
there are also rivers of heartache.  the pain associated with our own
hopes and dreams diminishes in the wake of our childrens' pain and
fear.

there is a secret, i think, to pulling out the scarring thorn of these
heartaches.  it is the balm of gilead, the sacrifice of pain at His altar.
i have never seen it fail after 25 years of raising children and fifty
years of raising me.

the beauty is in its simplicity... no counseling, no memorization of
scripture, no fasting, no fighting...

one of my own dear ones is going through the valley, so i am
recently acquainted with this sacrifice.  if i had a stone to show
for all of my past sacrifices, i could build a little cottage.

here is my powerful weapon that extinguishes the fire from the
enemy's arrows.  when my children experience sorrow, i tell
them to lay their grief on His altar, showing their yieldedness
to His will.

one of two responses from Him are both very sweet.  He either
sends His grace and peace to soothe our pain from the loss or
restores that which was stolen from us.

the costly part, of course, is trusting Him and being willing to
lay down what we want to wrestle back.  after all, don't we
deserve it, doesn't  it rightfully belong to us?  david said that
he wouldn't think of sacrificing something that cost him nothing.

blessings,
lea

quintessentially emily

dear emily,

i have a small dictionary of interesting words that intrigue me.
unfortunately, i rarely use them, because it would seem pretentious.

however, i can't seem to help myself from saying that you are the
quintessential renaissance mom.  your wisdom and intelligence are
met by kindness and vulnerability.

like the famous woman from proverbs, you stay up late and rise
early to see to the needs of your lively family.  your hands are
always busy, making lovely clothes and wholesome, delicious
meals for your children, crafts for your home, and gifts for your
lucky friends.

your husband is respected in the gates of the city and blessed
beyond measure with your goodness.

your children have been raised with exceptional love, foresight,
and creativity.  i'm sure they will all become spiritually sensitive and
artistic scientists. :)

the poor in spirit receive benevolence from your kitchen and
generosity from your heart.

well done,
lea

van helsing's ideal woman

dear emily,

isaac gave me a beautiful copy of stoker's "dracula" for Christmas,
and i was so moved by van helsing's praise of mina, that i wanted
to pass it along to you.

van helsing is a brave, perceptive professor who has discovered the
the horrific vampire rampage.  mina  is a lovely and troubled bride
whose industrious foresight delivers the final piece of the puzzle.

in response to her respect and sensitivity, he says:

"my life is a barren and lonely one...and you have given me hope
that there are good women still left to make life happy---good
women, whose lives and whose truths may make good lesson for
the children that are to be..."

later he extols mina to her husband, jonathan:

"she is one of God's women, fashioned by His own hand to show
us men and other women that there is a heaven where we can
enter and that its light can be here on earth.  so true, so sweet, so
noble, so little an egoist."

mina is the humble, contrasting light to dracula's egocentric
predatory shadow.  sounds like a proverbs 31 woman to me.

love,
lea

it's a wonderful life!

dear emily,

hans and i have been walking with the Lord for 40 years and find His
love and grace to be inexhaustible.  He continues to surprise us with
His goodness and kindness, especially when life is heartbreaking.

both of our parents are enjoying fulfilling lives.  we have, between us,
seven amazing siblings, five precious sisters-in-law, and a significant
other, who we absolutely adore.

hans is still my knight in shining armor, favorite companion, and chief
entertainer.  i am careful not to laugh at all his jokes, so he doesn't take
me for granted.  he is always kind, gentle, and loving, so i won't break.

this is the best part.  we have the five most lovable, intelligent,
respectful, and funny children imaginable plus a prince of a son-in-law
... AND the world's greatest westie!

i was so exhausted with all the pre-Christmas festivities, that i fell back
into bed right before lunch.  hans tip-toed in to check on me and said,
"honey, i just wanted to prepare you that i didn't get you a 'big' gift this
year."  he says that every year. :)

"oh that's all right." i murmured. "you've given me a wonderful life!"

merry Christmas,
lea

roller coaster Christmas

dear emily,

man, can you believe this roller coaster Christmas ride?  we  spent the
day baking, decorating Christmas cookies,  last minute shopping,
wrapping, and fussing up the house in anticipation of  dinner guests...
a lovely family of 25!

i could not have imagined a more delightful evening.  babies crawling
everywhere, toddlers rolling cars under tables, over tables, around
tables, a pretty little princess decorating a gingerbread house, loud
voices, raucous laughter, "white Christmas" playing in the back
ground, and then spontaneous singing of 'sisters, sisters.'

we ordered smoked brisket, turkey, and ribs, but somehow we
received barbecued BOLOGNA! yuck.  i overheard a sweet little
voice ask, "mommy, is this chicken fish?"

an adorable two year old asked me for a cookie, and being afraid
it was too big, i tore off a portion of shelby's browned butter,
caramel chocolate chip cookie.  he looked at it sadly and said, "that
is not a cookie..."  he promptly received the biggest cookie i could
find with a satisfied smile and, "that is a cookie!"

the same little guy deadbolted himself in our guest bathroom.  you
should have heard his uncle trying to explain to him how to unlock the
dead bolt.  why is the 'undoing' of a thing so hard?

later i found the cookie monster/deadbolt boy turning our globe around
and around, saying under his breath, "africa...africa...africa." he's
bound for the mission field...look out africa!

the young parents took their babies home to bed, but the teenaged
siblings stayed much longer, playing games and retelling funny old
stories like, "remember the time when you were two and you got left in
the gas station on a car trip?  your parents didn't notice for an hour!"
which completely spiraled out of control into every 'bad' parent story
imaginable....so i went to bed.

love,
lea

mary's treasure

dear emily,

when looking to older, wiser mothers, we shouldn't neglect the most
famous one of all time.   how young she was and how overwhelming it
must have been to be the mother of the 'anointed One'!  can you imagine
saying, "no" to Jesus?  i'm afraid we do it all the time.

every time i read, "and mary treasured up all these things and pondered
them in her heart," my own heart is pierced.  how many treasures am i
tripping over and how many worthless things am i worshipping?

a vital key to becoming an anointed mother is pondering the Pearl of
great price and letting everything else diminish in its value before Him.
if we prize Him above all else, then He has been extended a request  to
flood our lives and loves with His spring of everlasting water.

psalm 112: 1, 2 says that if we delight in following His commands, then
our children will be mighty in the land.  what mother doesn't want her
children to have great success?  i think the crucial word in the verse is
'delight'.  to delight in something i must have invested my heart
and soul in it.

just like mary did.

love,
lea

wise women

dear emily,

i was thinking about the wise men who followed the star to the baby in
bethlehem.  it reminded me of all the wise women i have followed.

they left me signs as obvious as a star's light.  in their wake were happy
and confident children, satisfied and successful husbands, and many
grateful hearts. they were the first to bring a meal to a sick family, to
pray for a significant heartache, or to love on a small child.

these wise women taught me to follow the Lord by feasting on His word
and leaning into Him.  they led me in studies to understand Him better
and showed me many ways to worship Him.

they inspired me by their humble, persevering service to the younger
women and our children.  they invited me into their homes, fed me
delicious meals and encouraged me to respect my husband and raise
my children in a Godly home.

i watched them very carefully and followed along in their footsteps.
it's humbling and a little unsettling to think that there are young
women behind me now.

i have so much to learn still.

titus 2:4 says that "we are to train up the younger women to love their
husbands and children."

i better get busy,
lea