Thursday, November 19, 2009

dear emily,

i awoke in the middle of the night, thinking, "i really need to alert emily about teenagers!"  even though you still have six or seven years until that time, it will help you to keep this in your cap until then.

many of our friends parented with the goal of helping their kids to make only good decisions, which is a fine aspiration. unfortunately, it is like wishing for an ocean and beach to miraculously appear in your backyard!

it is inherent for teens to make foolish and dangerous choices, because they think they are indestructible.

if you can accept this now, you will parent it better then.  when they slip up, try to encourage yourself with the truth that they rarely do it to hurt you.  we know this is true, because, honestly they don't think about their parents often. :)

another comforting reality is that while they are still at home, they have you to pull them up by their bootstraps, love them, forgive them, and correct them.   every poor choice and consequence will hopefully inoculate them from repetition after they leave home.

your gracious yet firm response will, more importantly, rebuild their fragile egos with your unconditional love.

pray psalm 91 over them each day and trust that the One who holds them in the palm of His hand
will keep them from serious harm.


peanut gallery comments, please!

dear emily,

hans said that i should open this up for other moms to post advice, and i think that is a great idea! i was a little worried about 'weird' postings, but after reviewing some of mine think they would fit right in...

then my friend, yleana, told me that she wasn't able to comment on my letters. after checking, i discovered that i had inadvertently pushed a button to not allow comments! this is basically how i raised my kids..."no comments from children, please." :)

so, if you or your friends remember wonderful...or terrible things your moms did, just push the comment button and enlighten us!


ps. happy thanksgiving to your little turkeys!


"my mom made us verbalize the bad stuff we did or said and also tell her our motivation. sorry was not good enough. lesson: own what you have done before moving on." -jordania

"independent moms can sure create dependent children...we tend to jump in faster...and what does
this child learn? to keep coming to me...and to question her own judgment!" -lael