Wednesday, March 10, 2010


dear emily,

i have to warn you about something, and i don't really
know how to say this.

so, i'm just going to blurt it out!  because you're so smart
and will want to keep your brain facile and undemented,
at my age, you will probably play, ahem, bridge.

when i was a sweet, spry, lovely thing like you, i used to
smirk at the little, old ladies with hats and  gloves looking
primly at their cards.  "that's something i will never do!"

little did i know that counting  those tricks and conniving
to win lots of points to the cheers from the  stands would
be so fun.

not to mention bridge clothes!  we only allow prada,
chanel, and versace at our table.  the butler will not
give access to any flip-flops or sweatpants.

and here's the best part:  bridge food!  some folks only
come for the cuisine, but i am a purist and have played
with a solitary glass of water. . .  while i heaped  the
dainty cucumber sandwiches, fresh veggies, and bite
sized lemon tarts upon my wedgewood plate.

so sorry for the bad news,

"there is a time for everything, and a season for every
activity under heaven. . ." ecclesiastes 3:1