Sunday, January 30, 2011

dear emily,

i asked my friend dawn to write a guest post, because she is
chock full of wisdom, wit, and encouragement.  she graciously
agreed, and so will you!

I have no idea anymore why my husband's shirt was hanging there. But it was, completing the picture for me of the family we had just become. This little clothing family was the view to my left after my son took much of my blood with him when he left the confines of my body and the doctor confined me to the bed. If I had been feeling up to it, I would have been scared of that little package of DNA.  After all, those eight pounds three ounces would, in fifteen short years, become a 185-pound teenager whom I would have to look up to when I said yet again, "Is that understood, Young Man?!"

He still doesn't know my two little secrets. He won't, can't, until the moment he lays eyes on his own little bundle of great adventure someday. One disqualifies parents from parenting completely. The other overrides the first, and the job falls to moms and dads the world over.

1. We parents have no idea what we are doing. Little do our offspring know, we continually wonder if all we're doing will pay off in the end. We hold our breath with a straight, poker face, compare notes with friends, and remember how our parents handled us, then bluff our whole way through.

2. Secret number two that cancels out secret number one: Love. Only a parent's patience can overlook flaws and shortcomings to see a mature, responsible, amazing adult in the making. Growing up can be messy business, and nobody in the world loves your teenager more than you do. So trust your instincts and never underestimate the power of your love. It gives you more influence over your teenager than (s)he lets on.

And a word of advice? Don't get used to seeing clothes hung in closets. They will most assuredly be thrown on the floor.

And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you [ think (s)he] may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing . James 1:4

Dawn C. Gonzalez


highheeledlife said...

beautiful worded .. there is nothing like a parent's love (or grandparents) ...HHL said...

So true...I have what I call a pre-man in my house and those clothes are on the floor...but I love that we see what they will become and I am so enjoying watching that process in all my kids, even with all my mistakes.

Kate said...

so true! ha jeanette...a pre-man! i like that :)

Rachel said...

Ahh yes... Love - it makes anything possible and everything worth it!

Rosie said...

Oh how true...after surviving two teenagers, I must say that "prayer" was(IS) the most important ingredient. My daughter was my challenge and I think always will be.
I would tuck her in at night, and it was when I would hear a "Mom, can we talk?" that my prayer request would be "Oh Lord, Help me not to over react. May I handle this the way you would want me to" see, I often would get WAY more information than I, as her mom, wanted to know. She is 22 now, and still when I hear "mom, Can we I talk?", a 911 goes heavenward...Rosie

People Who Know Me Would Say: said...

You've got that right!!

Vee said...

That seems about right. Thanks for a fun guest post, Lea. Dawn, I really enjoyed reading this.

Debbie said...

This was all soo true...As the mother of 4 grown adults I can say, "Been there and done that"...haha said...

Dawn said it just right! Parents have no clue going into parenting, at least we didn't. We knew the basics we wanted for our kids, but oh wow... many times it didn't look like that along the way! :)
But love does conquer, and now the joy of watching them do the same with their kids is...priceless!

Great post Dawn, and I'm going over to visit your page now.

Darcie said...

Thank you for words of wisdom this morning. I remind myself when I have to look up to my 15 year old, that hopefully as he is gazing down at me, that he is still looking up to me in his heart.

Love is the most powerful tool in our mommy toolbox, huh? Thanks for this post.

Deborah Ann said...

Ah, if I could only get over the 'clothes on the floor' routine. Clothes on the floor, toothpaste clinging to the sink, jacket hanging on the stair post, paperwork strewn about the kitchen table. But I can't get past it. And that's just my husband...

Sandy said...

Sweet and wonderful words. It's all
about love, unconditional love.
My youngest son is 21 and the clothes
are still all over the floor as are
the CD's, guitars, books, chip bags
and everything else. I've threatened
to kick him out if he doesn't clean
his room (thank goodness it's in
the basement)but I know the day of
his leaving is coming up soon anyway
and then I'll be crying as I help
him pick up and pack.

Joan Elizabeth said...

It came as a real shock to me when I got married to find clothes on the floor. At home his room was always tidy so either his Mum picked up after him for too long or he was declaring his freedom. But love can overcome obstacles not just with kids.

koralee said...

So true my sweet your words. xoxoxo

Just Be Real said...

Very nice. Blessings.

Jodie | Velour said...

I'm smiling big because I loved this. (sigh) It sure helps me to breathe easier. I'm in the early years of parenting, my kids being b/t the ages of 3 and 7. I laughed out loud at point #1. Indeed. :) And point #2 helped me to relax about it. Loved every word. :)