admitting it is the first step

dear emily,

as i was sitting in the choir loft yesterday, i looked out to see an 

old friend in the congregation.  my heart lifted, because she has 

struggled with alcohol addiction and has avoided the church.  i 

imagined her saying, "my name is...and i'm an alcoholic."

that is a tried and true method of AA, but all of a sudden it 

just seemed so unfair.  if they have to humiliate themselves to

that level, then we ought to hold ourselves to the same standard.

imagine the crowded hallways of the church filled with these

kind of conversations.

"hello, my name is lea, and i am a self centered, selfish, lazy

person.  sometimes, i can be downright mean and hurtful, to

boot.  whatever made you think to wear navy slacks with a

black sweater?"

"hi lea.  nice to meet you!   my name is rae, and if i don't get 

my way, i am given to periods of pouting and moodiness.  my

marriage is in shambles.  don't you think your skirt is a wee bit

too short...and tight?"

love,

lea

matthew 23:12

"for whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever

humbles himself will be exalted."

  

thank you, canada, the most beautiful and
gracious hosts of an extraordinary winter
olympics!!!

OKLAHOMA STATE   85
KANSAS                  77

'nuff said!!!!!

fear or love?

dear emily,

true confession time.  i became terrified for one of my dear
ones and fell into the dreaded mom-trap, the snare of fear.
every single time i do that, my lion claws snap open, and i
hurt someone, usually the very one i am trying to protect.

my sweet friend, annie, is aways challenging me to parent
out of faith and not fear.  but it is just SO hard!

faith connotes lovely images of hope and trust.  it dwells
in open fields of fertile ground from which good, strong
plants grow.  there is a talmud saying, "every blade of grass
has its Angel who bends over it and whispers, 'grow, grow.'"

fear, in opposition, seizes and constricts, paralyzes and
steals all reason or logic.  not sure who said, "love is what
we're born with, fear is what we learned here," but it
resonates within me.

john, the beloved disciple, encouraged us with, "perfect
love casts out fear."  1 john 4:18.  i am obviously not full
of that love yet.  'what wondrous love is this, oh my soul?'

the good news, and there is always good news,  is that the
One who is full of perfect love has made that available to
me whenever i choose it.  and His love casts out so much
more than my most dreaded fears.

and here i am, again, saying, "Lord i choose love...help me
to choose love!"

a mustard seed of love,
lea

cool kids

dear emily,

my children heard me say, more times than they wanted,
"steer clear from the cool kids at school.  they're the ones
who pressure you into changing your image, your morals,
and your integrity.

besides, they get more than their fair share of attention and
don't really need yours.   the uncool kids, on the other hand,
are desperate for a little kindness in the form of a smile,
encouraging word, or lunch partner.

these kids will accept you for yourself, not pressuring you
to change.  they're way more fun, because they're usually
more intelligent and can think outside the 'cool' box."

my self preserving skills were much too sharp to hang with
the cool kids when i was in high school.  they were very
scary to my little nerdy self.  my only transgression was to
date, and eventually marry, the nicest cool guy in school.

a few years ago, an elderly woman stopped hans to ask him
if he was the 'hans' in her daughter's history class, the one
who told her every day that her homemade dresses were
very pretty.

yep, he's the one!  my mom made a lot of my dresses, too.

love,
lea

"the King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did
for the least of these...you did for Me.' "     matthew 25:40

easter memories

dear emily,

i know it's a little early, but my friend vee jumpstarted the
festivities, and now i can't stop thinking about it.

here's our favorite easter tradition.  my carpenter friend built
us an eight foot high wooden cross that we draped with
purple cloth until easter morning and placed it on our front
lawn.   early sunday morning i would  replace the cloth with
dozens of gold mylar balloons.

then we would decorate long tables and load them up with
donuts, fruit, juice, coffee, and hot chocolate.  around 8:00,
nine or ten families with colonies of children would jump
out of their cars all dressed up in their easter finest or still
in their jammies, we didn't care which.

we had a group of guitars with lots of singing and playing,
and donuts flying through the air.  at 9:00, each child let a
balloon go,  and we watched them all soar together into the
sky.   i am amazed now that not even the tiniest child ever
fussed about losing his balloon.

i told hans yesterday that i'm going to up the ante a bit with
my grandchildren and hire a hot air balloon.  he thinks i'm
kidding.

love,
lea

ps.  "up from the grave, He arose with a mighty triumph
o'er His foes!..."

tallgrass prairie preserve

dear emily,

as hans and i were drinking our coffee this morning, isaac called
to check on us.  i think the kids are worried that i might do
something crazy now that they're all gone.

"hey dad, what are you guys doing?"

"well, your mom and i have just been debating the merits of an
L. P. C."

"you're getting her a licensed professional counselor?"

"no, actually we're sitting here talking about the plight of the
lesser prairie chicken."

silence

"ok...umm...hey, i guess that's as good a cause as any, taking
care of the 'least of these.'"

seriously, we had been discussing oklahoma's 39,000 acre tall
grass prairie preserve, the largest protected tall grass prairie on
the planet.  the beautiful three feet high grasses protect quail,
grouse, pheasants, prairie chickens and feed 2,500 buffalo.

this wonderland is surrounded by an additional 5 million acres,
"where the waving wheat can sure smell sweet, when the wind
comes right behind the rain!"

this would be a really fun field trip for your little prairie chickens.
if you bring them in the summer, you can enjoy the mozart
festival and gorgeous wildflowers, too.

love,
lea

"for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a
thousand hills."  psalm 50:10