50 push ups for me!

my friend margaret, at single and sane, wrote the most inspirational essay
on the beauty of not being too thin.  it was music to my chubby ears, as
it is apparently a tiny bit healthier to be a tiny bit heavier.  woo hoo!

this coincided with my first two weeks of a diet and almost sabotaged it,
but i held firm to my new standard.  no cheesecake after midnight.

i also walk everywhere i go . . . in the house and am really into pushups,
especially the orange cream ones or the victoria secret ones.

honest to goodness, i was going to write a serious treatise on my lifestyle
changes, but it all of sudden started to seem so funny.  today, after trying
on too many pants that were still TOO tight, i spotted a tiny sign at the
bottom of the dressing room mirror.

"we want you to be beautiful."

well, they should have dimmed the lights.

love,
lea

"all is vanity."  ecclesiastes 1:2

five times the grace!

dear emily,

last night i lay in bed praying for you and the eminent birth of your sweet #5.
i even awoke from a dream praying for you.  see how much the Lord loves
you?

i have a special affinity for you now that we both will have five children.  it
is the number of grace and redemption in the bible.  here are a few illustrations
of the number five.

historians maintain that the israelites marched out of egypt in ranks of five.

david picked up five smooth stones.  I samuel 17:40

the Lord told abram to sacrifice five animals (heifer, goat, ram, dove, and
pigeon.)  genesis 15:9

when God changed abram's name to abraham, He added the fifth letter.

"five of you will chase 100 . . ." leviticus 26:8

i know my kids have grown fond of pretending you might name this
precious one "nickel." :)  nickel, obviously, stands for five shiny pennies
and is a silvery-white metal.

"and the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace
of clay, purified seven times."  psalm 12:6

no pressure.  :)

love,
lea

the resurrection of jackie sweeter

we Christians do not all have the exact same beliefs.  even the apostle
paul acknowledged that there are so many differences in the church,
we should just agree on Christ's resurrection and not worry about the
rest.

believe it or not, i have a resurrection story that involves our youngest
daughter's hamster, the venerable jackie sweeter.  she  loved that little
guy to death, literally.  he was stone cold dead, on his back, feet in the
air.

until he hopped back up and got back inside that maniacal wheel.
you might call it his wheel of fortune.

unfortunately, a few days later he died again, permanently, and seven
year old hailey was broken hearted.  she wrote a lovely funeral program
including a moving tribute to both his lives and deaths.

as you might imagine, she was very reluctant to let us bury him.

love,
lea

"listen, i tell you a mystery:  we will not all sleep, but we will all be
changed."  1 corinthians 15:51

"bows and flows of angel hair"

dear emily,

i love the fact that though i am frail, impetuous, and self centered, the Lord
is never disillusioned with me.  as the saying goes, "He never had any
illusions to start with."  i also know that every moment spent with Him
softens and fills in those rough edges and empty spaces.

He might not have had any illusions, but i sure did!  i thought i could be
the perfect wife and mother.  joni mitchell summed it up nicely, "i really
don't know life at all."

i wonder how many of my unrealistic expectations hindered my most
precious relationships?  what made me think i could expect 'that' of him
or her?  "many of the cruel things of life spring from the fact we suffer
from illusions." (oswald chambers)

on the other hand, susan boyle had a dream and now is singing in front
the pope.  joseph of the many colored coat saw each of his dreams
fulfilled but waited years in prison for them.

maybe we should dream our dreams and then offer them to the Lord.  i
imagine the ones that could really 'be' will get offered back.  "God is
most glorified in me when i am satisfied in Him" (john piper) . . .

whether or not all my dreams are realized.

love,
lea

"in the last days, God says, i will pour out my Spirit on all people.  your
sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your
old men will dream dreams."  acts 2:17

NC-17 for "doubt"

i think there should be an emotional rating for some movies.  take
"doubt", for instance.  that story was laced with so many disturbing
themes, it kept me up for nights.  (i slept like a baby after all the
"final destination" movies.)

here's what ate at me the most.  though we were supposed to hate
the critical sister, she was probably correct with her suspicion that
the catholic priest was a pedophile.  my anguish stemmed from the
witch hunt after his charming and sympathetic character.

the dilemma increased when he displayed some arrogant and
condescending tendencies.  "wait!  i thought i was supposed to
like him!"  the judgmental sister was harsh and conniving, on one
hand, but surprisingly perceptive and sensitive, on the other.

oh, the twists and turns.

when  the poor mother was informed that her son was probably in
an unhealthy relationship with the catholic father,  she thought that
was better than getting a beating from his own father.

aaaaaaargh!  by the end of this movie, i felt as terrible as the old,
mean sister looked.

love,
lea

"therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."
matthew 10:16b

rain, rain everywhere, and not a cab in sight

hans was desperate to catch a cab out of new york last week.  it was
raining cats and dogs with an added tornado or two but no cabs in which
to take refuge.

google image of times square

the streets were lined with drenched people, hands raised in futility for
a dry ride.  a few others were pushing their 'cart' homes, apparently
indifferent to the downpour.

a lone cabbie inched by carefully ignoring the hoards, so hans took a
chance.  "excuse me, sir, could you take me uptown?"

google image of new york cab

"well, i'll tell you.  i'm in a mood as foul as this weather, but because
you were so polite, yes sir, hop in." he reminded me of the aesop quote,
"no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."

what the cabbie didn't know is that hans had spent two intensive days
in denver meetings, hopped a plane to return me home, then caught
another plane to take him on to new york, arriving at one in the morning.
at seven the next morning he presented at a conference for eight hours.

exhausted and soaked to the bone, he was trying to meet his brother
who was recovering from surgery and then to catch his third plane  in
two days to bring him home to me on yet another red eye.

i could just kiss that cabbie. . . but don't tell hans.

love,
lea

"with good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men."
ephesians 6:7

terror by day

dear emily,

janette, vee, and my friend from HHL have all inspired me with their
incredibly vulnerable blogs.  why does it make us feel better when
someone else is struggling?

i think it's because our own battles are somehow validated.  one of my
conflicts is the fear of flying, something i have to do a lot.

google image

this past week we took off from the beautiful denver airport on a
glorious indian summer day.  unfortunately, the warm air combined
with the mountain updrafts created a turbulent 'sit op.'  the pilot
followed a bizarre flight pattern for 20 minutes, flying only 1,000 feet
above the ground.    did i say flying?

i meant bouncing and careening.

on top of that (no pun intended), we were piddling around at 300
miles per hour, half the normal speed.  it felt like riding a bucking
bronco in slow motion . . . endlessly.  the terror smothered me as i
imagine the hood used to stifle the victim before his hanging.

the Lord and i have been in this situation thousands of times and
He knows me so well.  His word comforted my heart, even though
my mind was still a little undone.

"fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you.  I will UPHOLD you with
my righteous right hand."  isaiah 41:10

hans encouraged me with good common sense, "it's only bumpy
air.  close your eyes and imagine an old gravel road.  the plane can
easily handle this."  but could i?

now i feel ashamed of my terror, my weakness, myself.  maybe,
though, it will make you feel a little better about yours.

love,
lea