dear emily,
i awoke in the middle of the night, thinking, "i really need to alert emily about teenagers!" even though you still have six or seven years until that time, it will help you to keep this in your cap until then.
many of our friends parented with the goal of helping their kids to make only good decisions, which is a fine aspiration. unfortunately, it is like wishing for an ocean and beach to miraculously appear in your backyard!
it is inherent for teens to make foolish and dangerous choices, because they think they are indestructible.
if you can accept this now, you will parent it better then. when they slip up, try to encourage yourself with the truth that they rarely do it to hurt you. we know this is true, because, honestly they don't think about their parents often. :)
another comforting reality is that while they are still at home, they have you to pull them up by their bootstraps, love them, forgive them, and correct them. every poor choice and consequence will hopefully inoculate them from repetition after they leave home.
your gracious yet firm response will, more importantly, rebuild their fragile egos with your unconditional love.
pray psalm 91 over them each day and trust that the One who holds them in the palm of His hand
will keep them from serious harm.
love,
lea
Thursday, November 19, 2009
peanut gallery comments, please!
dear emily,
hans said that i should open this up for other moms to post advice, and i think that is a great idea! i was a little worried about 'weird' postings, but after reviewing some of mine think they would fit right in...
then my friend, yleana, told me that she wasn't able to comment on my letters. after checking, i discovered that i had inadvertently pushed a button to not allow comments! this is basically how i raised my kids..."no comments from children, please." :)
so, if you or your friends remember wonderful...or terrible things your moms did, just push the comment button and enlighten us!
love,
lea
ps. happy thanksgiving to your little turkeys!
hans said that i should open this up for other moms to post advice, and i think that is a great idea! i was a little worried about 'weird' postings, but after reviewing some of mine think they would fit right in...
then my friend, yleana, told me that she wasn't able to comment on my letters. after checking, i discovered that i had inadvertently pushed a button to not allow comments! this is basically how i raised my kids..."no comments from children, please." :)
so, if you or your friends remember wonderful...or terrible things your moms did, just push the comment button and enlighten us!
love,
lea
ps. happy thanksgiving to your little turkeys!
pss...
"my mom made us verbalize the bad stuff we did or said and also tell her our motivation. sorry was not good enough. lesson: own what you have done before moving on." -jordania
"independent moms can sure create dependent children...we tend to jump in faster...and what does
this child learn? to keep coming to me...and to question her own judgment!" -lael
"independent moms can sure create dependent children...we tend to jump in faster...and what does
this child learn? to keep coming to me...and to question her own judgment!" -lael
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
ps...
i recruited some help from wise women:
"take their door off the hinges to show them who the house belongs to!" -becky and tamra
"don't always bail them out of every fix." -laura
"take their door off the hinges to show them who the house belongs to!" -becky and tamra
"don't always bail them out of every fix." -laura
Friday, November 13, 2009
nine lives
dear emily,
i bet you miss your biology classes some days when you spend your time, instead, changing diapers and wiping runny noses. let not your heart be troubled, because you will have many adventures after your sweet babies have left the nest.
let me encourage you with some stories about my grandmother. if the proverbial cat has nine lives, then she had at least that many!
in her first life, her family came to oklahoma in a covered wagon to be missionaries to the indians.
her second life brought marriage and her third, eight children!
her fourth life brought her widowhood, as her husband and oldest child were murdered in her kitchen...
a devastating heartbreak still.
was her life over? absolutely not!
instead, she had a fifth life in raising those seven children not only to keep up the family farm, but also to excel in school.
her sixth life took her to the campus of northwestern university, where she was the dorm mom (my dad had to live his senior year in a tiny dorm room with her.) this provided the tuition waiver for her oldest kids to attend college. after all seven children graduated from college, three attended medical school and one, law school.
the impoverished med and law students passed her '57 chevy between them until it journeyed to my cousin lane. she painted it pink, named it 'talulah', and then sent it to me for my 16th birthday!
are you keeping up?
ok, now grandma was in her fifties and retiring to the rocking chair...no way! in her seventh life SHE went to college and became the best first grade teacher ever! i was old enough by then to visit her class.
her eighth life took her to seminary and ordination as a methodist minister at the young age of 65. she had a little church in manter, kansas for many years, which i was happy to attend.
in her late seventies, she did finally retire...to become the secretary to the ORU chaplain and to disciple young ORU married students in her tiny cottage. one of my best friends, anna mae, was in that blessed group. that makes nine!
in her tenth life, she traveled all around the world, taking me to israel when she was 84!!!
take that, kitty kitty!
i bet you miss your biology classes some days when you spend your time, instead, changing diapers and wiping runny noses. let not your heart be troubled, because you will have many adventures after your sweet babies have left the nest.
let me encourage you with some stories about my grandmother. if the proverbial cat has nine lives, then she had at least that many!
in her first life, her family came to oklahoma in a covered wagon to be missionaries to the indians.
her second life brought marriage and her third, eight children!
her fourth life brought her widowhood, as her husband and oldest child were murdered in her kitchen...
a devastating heartbreak still.
was her life over? absolutely not!
instead, she had a fifth life in raising those seven children not only to keep up the family farm, but also to excel in school.
her sixth life took her to the campus of northwestern university, where she was the dorm mom (my dad had to live his senior year in a tiny dorm room with her.) this provided the tuition waiver for her oldest kids to attend college. after all seven children graduated from college, three attended medical school and one, law school.
the impoverished med and law students passed her '57 chevy between them until it journeyed to my cousin lane. she painted it pink, named it 'talulah', and then sent it to me for my 16th birthday!
are you keeping up?
ok, now grandma was in her fifties and retiring to the rocking chair...no way! in her seventh life SHE went to college and became the best first grade teacher ever! i was old enough by then to visit her class.
her eighth life took her to seminary and ordination as a methodist minister at the young age of 65. she had a little church in manter, kansas for many years, which i was happy to attend.
in her late seventies, she did finally retire...to become the secretary to the ORU chaplain and to disciple young ORU married students in her tiny cottage. one of my best friends, anna mae, was in that blessed group. that makes nine!
in her tenth life, she traveled all around the world, taking me to israel when she was 84!!!
take that, kitty kitty!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
blessings
dear emily,
my children heard me say "be a blessing!" every time they walked out the door.
i wanted them to be cheerful, kind, obedient, peaceful, and helpful. they understood that all these actions were necessary to be a blessing, and we practiced them every day at home.
this required me to conform to the same standard, and i can assure you, they would let me know when i was grumpy or impatient. all of us continuously fell below the benchmark, but we asked forgiveness and then tried harder.
i used to dread teachers' conferences for fear of what i might hear. there were comments like, "hailey is just the sweetest thing, but she falls asleep during history every day." that teacher eventually had the other students color while she took her nap!
another teacher remarked, "shelby is easily the brightest and most helpful child in the class, but would you remind her that i am the teacher?"
on several occasions, teachers would burst into tears and say, "your child has been the biggest blessing in my classroom. i have never had a more caring or obedient student!" then i would burst into tears.
that didn't happen often in high school...
love,
lea
galatians 5:24
'the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.'
my children heard me say "be a blessing!" every time they walked out the door.
i wanted them to be cheerful, kind, obedient, peaceful, and helpful. they understood that all these actions were necessary to be a blessing, and we practiced them every day at home.
this required me to conform to the same standard, and i can assure you, they would let me know when i was grumpy or impatient. all of us continuously fell below the benchmark, but we asked forgiveness and then tried harder.
i used to dread teachers' conferences for fear of what i might hear. there were comments like, "hailey is just the sweetest thing, but she falls asleep during history every day." that teacher eventually had the other students color while she took her nap!
another teacher remarked, "shelby is easily the brightest and most helpful child in the class, but would you remind her that i am the teacher?"
on several occasions, teachers would burst into tears and say, "your child has been the biggest blessing in my classroom. i have never had a more caring or obedient student!" then i would burst into tears.
that didn't happen often in high school...
love,
lea
galatians 5:24
'the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.'
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)