Saturday, March 16, 2013

false advertising

dear emily,

my friend janette reminded me of a story i shared with her about finding the
perfect wedding dress for our daughter.    a frightening ice storm stole our
power six years ago, chasing us south to dallas for a few days.   hans stayed
home to guard and tend to the house, but all five kids left with me.

while there, we decided to do a little wedding dress shopping for the bride
to be.   she is tall, willowy, and beautiful, but no one would describe her as
buxom, a fun word to say.   buxom, buxom, buxom.   sorry.

she would pull back the curtain in a vision of glory, and her sisters would
exclaim, "oh, you look SO gorgeous!" (sigh)   her brothers would say, "umm,
a little frumpy, don't ya think?"   then the sisters would hit the brothers over
the head.

every dress she tried on was more lovely than the last, making the decision
difficult.    one of the dresses was form fitting and fitted at the top with
some kind of padded form.   the groom would have dissolved into foam on
sight.   the sisters (this sounds like a convent) and i,  "oohed and ahhed",
but the brothers . . .

well the younger, rascally brother max said, "wow, that looks awesome, but
don't you think it's false advertising?"


ps. "how beautiful you are, my darling!  oh, how beautiful!" song of songs 1:15


Tamara Swerline said...

Someday, your lovely daughter will look back on this time with laughter, if not even now. It took me until my first child and breast feeding to become buxom! And even that was a temporary manifestation!

Blondie's Journal said...

First off...I love this story. Poor girl worrying about what she will find to be truly beautiful someday, and I'm sure she looked stunning on her wedding day.

In my early 20's. when I was dating my husband, we girls had a "pencil test". Who came up with it, I don't know. The gist of it was who could hold and not hold a pencil under their breasts. I am almost too ashamed to even share this! Needless to say, time marches on and the pencil test is a long lost but great memory for some of us. Ahem! I hope your daughter knows that she is one of the fortunate ones!

Jane (feeling a little too open tonight!!)

Anonymous said...

Oh, my! What a great family this must be.... laughter is the world's best medicine. This reminded me so much of the day I went shopping for wedding dresses. Such fun!

Joan Elizabeth said...

My niece married recently and convinced her Mum to make the wedding dress and bridesmaid dress. My poor sister was just a about a wreck from it all but the dresses were a triumph.

Weddings has such a wonderful way of working out well.

maryhealybooks said...

A wonderful snapshot of family life! This is what memories are made of.

Vee said...


I'm smiling to think of the vision that she was. Every bride is beautiful.

Thistle Cove Farm said...

Lea, sure hope my comments are going thru; blogger has been naughty of late.
'tall, willowy and beautiful" - sigh. I've never know that but do know buxom. I always told Dave I was built for comfort and not for speed. He (???) man!

Debbie said...

haha...Oh little brothers. A memory not ever to be forgotten for sure!

Janette's Sage/Simply Your Decor said...

I am laughing so hard....we enjoyed that so much and it was said over and over again through all the dresses and even her going away dress, because it all had a little extra added underneath
Thanks for sharing for all to enjoy...I am sending this to Nicole, who has five brothers. Her brothers never voiced anything that I know of...they silently couldn't believe their little sister was getting married.

Yes share your girlfriend stories through a girlfriend party would be fun...and yes, some of our blogger friends have become just as special, I wouldn't trade my blogger friends for are one of them

Meg said...

LOL! Oh what a snot haha! I have that problem as well. :) What a great story!

Libby said...

What a great story and a lesson for all of us. Thanks for sharing.

Sonja said...

Not sure which is making me laugh the most... buxom, buxom, buxom, or false advertising! :)

His Song to Sing said...

Well, the commenter before me said exactly what I was thinking! Your repetition of the word "buxom" was a hoot. When you write things like that, I think this gal has the best sense of humor and must be quite a fun friend/mother/wife etc. to have. Hope your friends and family appreciate your humor too! Obviously you've passed that gene on according to the "false advertising" comment :)

Farm Girl said...

Haha sounds like boys. I think this is so cute.

GratefulPrayerThankfulHeart said...

hehe... that's what brothers are for :)

Patsy Paterno said...

Oh brothers! I only have one and he's a sweetheart!!!
Patsy from

Rachel said...

Such rascals! That is just too funny and I hope dear sister now thinks it's funny in hindsight.

J. L. Nomad said...

Made me laugh, and chastise myself for being behind in having read this. I can just picture it!

Bree said...

Hi Lea! This is absolutely hilarious! Boys-how we love them! I've been away for so long, busy, busy with homeschooling and the sweet ones (big and small of course.) Life is lovely-our sweet youngest is 6 months now and we've all adjusted :) So thankful for your advice before...take it one day at a time and love and treasure each moment. We have been blessed by a winter in the south, a reprieve from the harsh cruelty of the northern winters! Hoping all is well, catching up on your posts :)