in the past six months i have felt an increasing force nudging itself
upon me. that sounds uncomfortable, like childbirth, but it only
feels like the gentle squeezes of braxton hicks.
in becoming the mother of five children, i think i tucked away part
of myself. it was not that i was diminished by it, because i was really
enlarged by every moment, but more that i adapted to it . . . a lot.
sort of like a chameleon.
some of my friends resisted that and persevered in their unique ways.
they didn't let james dobson or mary pride mold them into a certain
kind of mother. they paid a price for that in having more unruly kids,
but held onto themselves better.
the funny thing is that their wild and crazy kids grew into fine adults,
and i think they might respect their moms more for adhering to their
true natures. but that's not really the point. the crux is now that my
kids don't need me as much, i have felt these subtle urgings to spread
my wings a bit and notice the subtleties of life more.
this morning as i sowed some cosmo seeds in my garden, i felt the
soft breeze on my cheek and the warm soil in my fingers. i broke
an egg into the mixer and marveled at its rich, yellow yolk. i can't
seem to read a book without underlining rich similes or metaphors.
for those of you sending a child off to college, be encouraged that
your life is not over. you are feeling the deep pain of uprooting,
but there will still be many times to build, gather, and laugh.
"there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity
under heaven." ecclesiastes 3:1
love,
lea
ps. sunday lane is holding steady at #8!
