Friday, December 18, 2009

Christmas anorexia

dear emily,

when all the kids left to go back to school after thanksgiving, i had two
choices:  feel sorry for myself or decorate for their return.  so, i threw
myself into the Christmas spirit and worked diligently for days.  when i
came up for air, i was pretty pleased with myself.  the house had never
looked more festive.

after many days of living with it, though, i walked into the family room
and whined, "i can't see any Christmas anymore."

hans and hailey's jaws dropped open, and hailey said, "mom,
every corner, table, and surface of our entire house has a Christmas
decoration on it.  there are lights everywhere, santas everywhere, angels
everywhere, and mangers everywhere!  i think you have Christmas

i hope they don't check me into one of those clinics...

merry Christmas,

saved by the carol

dear emily,

hans and the kids have teased me a lot through the years, because i
don't really understand sports.  all i have ever known is music and
literature.  imagine my delight at receiving this clandestine phone

"mom?" one of my sons was on the other line and i could barely hear

"honey, are you ok?" i ask worriedly.

"mom, i don't have much time and may have to hang up on you."

"honey, are you in trouble?"

"how do you finish this line, 'angels we have heard...'?" whispered my son.

" 'on high'...but"

"awesome!  now how about, 'o little town of bethlehem...'?"

" 'how still we see thee lie! ' what is going on?" beginning to get a
little frustrated.

"sweet!  what comes after this? 'angels from the realms of glory'?"

"'wing your flight o'er all the earth'...  do you need me to call the

"oh no, i gotta hang up!  stay by the phone!"  now i had visions of
kidnappers with my precious baby wrapped up in duct tape.

the phone rang again.


"oh honey, are you hurt?  where are you?"

"no worries, mom.  mr. mccoy was just walking by and i didn't want
him to see me on the phone."


"just fill this line in:  'what child is this?...' "

"'who laid to rest on mary's lap is sleeping'  will you please tell me
what is going on?"

"thanks, mom!  you're a life saver!  i told my buddies that no one
knew more Christmas songs than you!"

dial tone...

turns out his physics teacher gave the class a bonus pre-Christmas
test, that i helped them cheat their way through.  a better mom
would have made them 'fess up, but i was just so proud...

...that my superior knowledge of Chrismas carols won the game!


grandma goldie's coming to town!

dear emily,

shelby said that your parents are coming to town, and i can't
imagine how excited asa, phin, samara, and ilo are!  well,
actually, i can, because i lived and breathed for my grandma
goldie's visits.

if grandma calhoon was truth, then grandma goldie was grace.
between the two of them, i had a pretty clear picture of Jesus!
one taught me how to read the bible and live uprightly.  the
other showed me how to care for the poor and love the down

i have lost track of how many abandoned kitties and puppies she
took in or how many old ladies she visited at the nursing home.
it is shameful to me to remember that i never wanted to go with
her to wash and 'set' their hair, because i didn't like how they

i did love every other minute with her...sneaking the car out at
5:00 a.m. when i was five years old,  eating as much candy as
i wanted, reading as long as i wanted, even helping her clean
the rooms in her little motel.  it probably made her work take
longer with me tagging along, but we both enjoyed it so much,
we didn't care.

then, joy of joys, we got to take our coffee break at the motel
restaurant.  she let me have real coffee with lots of cream and
sugar . . . heaven!

at Christmas, all my siblings would get so excited to anticipate
what santa might bring them.  i was more interested in  how
long grandma goldie could stay.  when i was only four i sat on
the curb and cried for the longest  time because i realized we
only had one more day...

i wish i still had one more day,