dear emily,
when i was a little girl my grandmother wore something called a
foundation. this undergarment made all her dresses smooth and
her figure lovely, but her breathing was labored. my mother's
generation wore girdles, a hideous name but a vast improvement
on the foundation. she could take deeper breaths.
now the post virginia slims' generation wears spanx. i can only
hope that a man named them. any woman to think of such a
demeaning name should be spanked. there are dozens of more
suitable ones: slink, slimmer, shape, even the tried and true girdle
is more dignifying.
when i was in high school, i wore a 'refining' undergarment,
because i was petrified of jiggling. how much jiggle could a 110
pound girl generate? now when i accidentally catch a glimpse
of myself walking by ahorror movie mirror, i can see my back
side wobble the opposite direction.
i should not be allowed to sing a favorite old hymn, "how firm a
foundation."
love,
lea
when i was a little girl my grandmother wore something called a
foundation. this undergarment made all her dresses smooth and
her figure lovely, but her breathing was labored. my mother's
generation wore girdles, a hideous name but a vast improvement
on the foundation. she could take deeper breaths.
 |
| google image |
now the post virginia slims' generation wears spanx. i can only
hope that a man named them. any woman to think of such a
demeaning name should be spanked. there are dozens of more
suitable ones: slink, slimmer, shape, even the tried and true girdle
is more dignifying.
when i was in high school, i wore a 'refining' undergarment,
because i was petrified of jiggling. how much jiggle could a 110
pound girl generate? now when i accidentally catch a glimpse
of myself walking by a
side wobble the opposite direction.
i should not be allowed to sing a favorite old hymn, "how firm a
foundation."
love,
lea
