Friday, February 26, 2010

fear or love?

dear emily,

true confession time.  i became terrified for one of my dear
ones and fell into the dreaded mom-trap, the snare of fear.
every single time i do that, my lion claws snap open, and i
hurt someone, usually the very one i am trying to protect.

my sweet friend, annie, is aways challenging me to parent
out of faith and not fear.  but it is just SO hard!

faith connotes lovely images of hope and trust.  it dwells
in open fields of fertile ground from which good, strong
plants grow.  there is a talmud saying, "every blade of grass
has its Angel who bends over it and whispers, 'grow, grow.'"

fear, in opposition, seizes and constricts, paralyzes and
steals all reason or logic.  not sure who said, "love is what
we're born with, fear is what we learned here," but it
resonates within me.

john, the beloved disciple, encouraged us with, "perfect
love casts out fear."  1 john 4:18.  i am obviously not full
of that love yet.  'what wondrous love is this, oh my soul?'

the good news, and there is always good news,  is that the
One who is full of perfect love has made that available to
me whenever i choose it.  and His love casts out so much
more than my most dreaded fears.

and here i am, again, saying, "Lord i choose me
to choose love!"

a mustard seed of love,