Monday, September 20, 2010

terror by day

dear emily,

janette, vee, and my friend from HHL have all inspired me with their
incredibly vulnerable blogs.  why does it make us feel better when
someone else is struggling?

i think it's because our own battles are somehow validated.  one of my
conflicts is the fear of flying, something i have to do a lot.

google image

this past week we took off from the beautiful denver airport on a
glorious indian summer day.  unfortunately, the warm air combined
with the mountain updrafts created a turbulent 'sit op.'  the pilot
followed a bizarre flight pattern for 20 minutes, flying only 1,000 feet
above the ground.    did i say flying?

i meant bouncing and careening.

on top of that (no pun intended), we were piddling around at 300
miles per hour, half the normal speed.  it felt like riding a bucking
bronco in slow motion . . . endlessly.  the terror smothered me as i
imagine the hood used to stifle the victim before his hanging.

the Lord and i have been in this situation thousands of times and
He knows me so well.  His word comforted my heart, even though
my mind was still a little undone.

"fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you.  I will UPHOLD you with
my righteous right hand."  isaiah 41:10

hans encouraged me with good common sense, "it's only bumpy
air.  close your eyes and imagine an old gravel road.  the plane can
easily handle this."  but could i?

now i feel ashamed of my terror, my weakness, myself.  maybe,
though, it will make you feel a little better about yours.