dear emily,
it used to tickle me when people would say, at social events,
"you have FIVE children? how can you be so peaceful?"
"umm, maybe because they aren't here with me!"
but truly, our home was peaceful. my nature required it,
and so i worked very hard to nurture it. hans and i didn't
raise our voices at each other or the children and didn't
allow them to do that, either. we encouraged happy play
that didn't cross the bridge to wild, loud chaos.
the only real enemy of peace was fear. sometimes it would
sneak up and seize me like a mad dog. "you're a terrible
mother, you can't do this, or your baby isn't going to make
it through the night!"
a few weeks before shelby was born, i was paralyzed with
dread that we might lose her. her big brother, isaac, had
not been expected to live after he was born, and i couldn't
face that again.
hans' mom, my junior high sunday school teacher, did not
tolerate my fearful behavior. "God has not give you a spirit
of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind!"
2 timothy 1:7
in other words, "snap out of it!"
or, as Jesus always used to say, "peace!"
love,
lea
