Sunday, April 18, 2010

liminerds

i wanted to pursue this subject a wee bit longer, because i read some
interesting comments that made me think, ouch.  vee aptly said that we
are liminoids, but in my case it should probably be liminerd.

in stating that once a mom, always a mom, i should have clarified
that the role drastically changes, hence the liminal nature of it.  zuzu
quoted, "mothers hold their children's hands for a while but their
hearts forever."  my mother in law says, "from the womb to the tomb."

it is like a plane flight.  in the beginning, i need to make most of the
decisions.  only i know where i want to go, when i need to be there,
and what airline i am inclined to choose.  once i board that plane,
however, most of my choices are drastically limited.

i have to sit in the seat indicated on my ticket, put on my seatbelt, and
lift or lower the chair back only when ordered.  i cannot make the plane
take off, stay in the air, or land when i choose.  i have to breathe lethal
air, and i may not disembark (disembark???) until given permission.

can you tell how much i HATE to fly?

hans and i made all the decisions at first, but gradually let the kids make
more of them as they matured.  now that they are mostly adults, our role
is to give counsel only when asked, frequent encouragement, and rare
admonition.  mostly, though we just pray, night and day, or all night and
all day.  we are progressing, but only liminally.

thankfully, "His grace is sufficient for us, and His power is made perfect
is our weakness."  2 corinthians 12:7

love,
lea

19 comments:

someplace in thyme said...

OH YES, ONCE THEY ARE GROWN AND ON THEIR OWN, THERE IS THAT LINE THAT YOU MUST THINK TWICE ABOUT CROSSING. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE PLUNGE NOT QUITE KNOWING IF ITS THE RIGHT THING.....BUT THEN AGAIN, YOU ARE FOREVER 'THE MOM', CHAR

count it all joy said...

I've just been reading your last few posts - loving it here on your blog. Such good advice. I've just decided I might need some help around the house too - six children, a business, sports, dancing etc is getting bigger than Ben Hur. Sometimes it's really helpful to hear from someone else whom you respect, that it's okay to get a bit of extra help if you need it. Thanks for that! Meredy xo.
p.s. thanks for all your lovely comments - the goofballs at Chez Joy are back to their wicked ways...thankfully:)

Southern Lady said...

So true! Most of my prayers are to ask God to cover my mistakes! Thankfully love covers a multitude of sins. Carla

Cinnamon said...

I could so relate to all your said!! I have been amazed on my parenting journey how different and wonderful each stage is. Right now I'm currently in many stages. I'm the Mama of a toddler, but also have some in pre-teen and teen stages, as well as one out of the house and married which also makes me a Grandma. Then throw in some other children here and there :-)

But because of it I feel like when the Lord shows me my mistakes, I can take the steps needed and go back (with my younger ones) and attempt correcting my wrong habit.

The trials and joys of parenting just keep on coming. All for the Glory of God~

~Cinnamon

carissa @ lowercase letters said...

i never want your posts to end!!! i always think, "no, it can't be over, yet!" i like what your m-i-l says - how perfect!

Jeannie B. said...

A very good way to look at things. Something I need work on for sure. Thank you!

Anne Lyken-Garner said...

You're right. It's difficult to know when to switch from one to the other. I've got 3 of different ages and I find myself switching back and forth in a matter of seconds. I don't always get it right.

Julie@beingRUBY said...

HI Lea
Well I really love what Zuzu wrote.. "mothers hold their children's hands for a while but their
hearts forever" and vice versa....

Thanks for your always lovely comments... you're too sweet.. xx Julie

Joan Elizabeth said...

I think the extra post has added interesting additional insights.

Liane said...

My parenting transitions from teen to young adult are not as seamless as I anticipated them to be...Sometimes I feel as though my soon to be 19 is more like a 9 year old. Hard to let go but still encourage without being too bossy. Yikes! It ain't easy......
Liane

Cheri Bunch said...

A visit to your blog is like having tea at my kitchen table with my best friend. I always come away lighter, refreshed, blessed! Inspired! Blessings, Cheri

Rita said...

Dear sweet Lea,
I've got something for ou over at my blog. Come over when you can
hugs
rita
p.s. your posts are always so thought provoking and inspiring. Love them!

Deborah Ann said...

Parenthood...like a plane ride? In that case I'd have to say that skydiving should never be ruled out.

Just Breathe said...

I hear you, I pray all day long. I was just over at another blog where I told her that I remember the day when my children were little and I just wanted to lock them in the house and keep them protected from the work. I couldn't do it but I still feel that way but we must let them fly!

Thanks for stopping over. We just love Westies. I have had a few myself. Didn't want to replace my last one Maggie so we decided to try the Cairn Terrier. She is just as great as the Westie if not better.

Kerry O'Gorman said...

You have so many words of wisdom in this post! Boy oh boy do I know how you feel..Although my dear girl is almost 30 now, I found myself reminding her to clean the catbox at her flat...mind you, it was more of a strong suggestion! I have similar feelings about flying and its so true that once you are in the air you have to give in...somehow that letting go has given me peace in the air...if you're going to go you're going to go. What a great anology to motherhood...cheers.

Kerry O'Gorman said...

P.S...the cool thing, though ,is that we can now sit like girlfriends and chat over a glass of wine!

Jennifer said...

I definitely look to my parents for council as my children turn to me for guidance. It is a cycle that I am proud to be a part of.

Rosidah Abidin said...

Beautiful post! Full of wisdom. Have a wonderful week.

Rita said...

Hi Lea,
yes, the award has to be passed to 10 other blogs.
have a great day!
rita