Tuesday, October 16, 2012

best friends

dear emily,

i read so many facebook posts in which women say, "my husband is my
best friend."  that is wonderful . . .

but mine isn't.   my best friends are female.   they wear make up and bras.
they cry when i cry and laugh at my dorky girl jokes.   they understand
when i get all angsty, jealous, and bloaty.

they tell me when my shoes don't work with that dress and if that dress
makes my backside look BIG.   they want to hear every detail about my
daughter's trip and my son's precious new wife, the insane grocery clerk,
and the next door neighbor's dog.

why do we, as women, want to make our husbands be our best friends?  i
want my husband's best friends to be the ones to hunt, fish, and talk foot
ball with him.  I don't want to do that.  i'm content to "um huh" and nod,
but i'm really thinking about thanksgiving, the election, or whether or not
my last check hit the bank before my last deposit.

my husband is part of my soul.   he is the best side of me.   he protects
every side of me.   he eats my yucky cooking, watches my crazy sci-fi
shows, takes me on bike rides, and sits close beside me in church.   he
fathered my five children, and he sleeps with me.

and i love him,

"be devoted and give preference to one another."  romans 12:10


Jen said...

Simply and Beautifully put.

Vee said...

Right. Husbands are better than best friends. How well you put thoughts to words. Course I do think that a lot of men are thinking about the election.

myletterstoemily said...

vee: you are right about that!

Sonja said...

This whole thought made me smile, as you so often do! You are right... it's how I feel too. BFF's are in their own category, husbands fill our hearts, but they don't care about makeup and hair styles and too much verbal description about minor stuff. :)And a good BFF loves all the details!

Elections... yes!

Sandy said...

You're right about all you said and I agree but my husband is still my best friend on top of everything else that a husband should be. I guess I am just really fortunate because he does listen and care about all those things that my girl friends do too.
Sweet post~

Farm Girl said...

I always think you are sweet and I love what you are thinking about, I have to tell you though, Since I always preferred my boy cousins and my brothers over girls I just never got girls. I know how weird right? When I had best friends, I always chose boys. Because I liked to hunt, fish and go four wheeling in their trucks. When I met my husband he became my very best friend and still to this day he is because well, I still don't get women. :) I know, totally different. But that is just me. :)
I would rather go look at tractors than dresses. I hate going to lunch but I love going to Sears and looking at power tools. So I guess I have always been a bit challenged. :)

myletterstoemily said...

kim: you are a great friend to me, and
my husband would love you, too@

Janette's Sage/Simply Your Decor said...

This is great....just great...and a wonderful post for all women, and may we all be blessed with girlfriends, they each hold a different part of our heart, and I am sure my hubby would like it if I had more friends, it would give his ears a rest!

Rebecca said...

My hubster is more than a best friend. In many ways he's my father, brother, friend and lover wrapped all into one. Friends, male or female, come and go...even best friends sometimes leave you. I've never taken a VOW with a female to be BF for life. I wouldn't even want to. That position is sacred...saved only for ONE.

Sweet post~

Love it when you visit me.

Love, Rebecca

Blondie's Journal said...

I used to wonder about women that claimed there husband's were their best friends. I thought they were trying too hard to convince people that their marriage was made in heaven.

As me and my better half continue to grow old together, I realize he IS my best friend. He has my back and I cherish him. We have been going through a big health scare and I had to contemplate life without him. If I were to lose a close girlfriend, a bestie, I would mourn her and be missing a special part of my life. If I were to lose my husband, my best friend, I wouldn't know how to go on. He is everything to me... a best friend and more. If he wasn't, I never would have married him!


Sassy Granny ... said...


Come to think of it, I dread shopping or cooking with my husband. I love him dearly, but he gives whole new meaning to the concept of whining when it comes to stores.

I can't think of anyone I'd rather do life with, though. He's steady as a rock. I like that.


myletterstoemily said...

i love seeing different perspectives on this!

Thistle Cove Farm said...

Oh Lea, this is a lovely post.

Cinnamon said...

Beautiful.I love my husband more than I did when we were first married and that's how it should be. I am thankful for him every.single.day!

Great perspective. You always make me laugh :-)


Joan Elizabeth said...

This is an interesting post ... made me think about how much hubby enjoys chatting to the old guys up at the hardware store (I call it him going to the club) but for myself I don't have any female friends of the type you describe ... I have sister and that is about enough for me. But it is a reminder to give hubby room now I am at home and in his hair all day instead of being at the office (A situation many couples encounter when at retirement).

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

I love your thoughts and also enjoyed reading the others comments. I agree with you, but also feel best friend would be on the list of all that my hubby is to me...First and foremost, I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed me with the man I married 30+ years ago. Of course, there are those moments that we may disagree on something or something that each of us may be bugged about the other and times that we continue to grow and learn from, but I look at him all the time and think "Wow! I love you sooo much!"

Blessings & Aloha!
Thank you also dear friend for your sweet comment about my toothbrushing grandbaby :o)

Anonymous said...

My best friend was my sister who passed 6 years ago. So not only is my husband a part of my soul... he is my best friend. He is my everything.

Auntie Cake said...

You just made me smile!

Susy said...

As my husband and I have gotten older, I think we've become better than friends ~ although I think it's much easier to have female friends, for all the reasons you stated.

I love the things we have in common Lea ~ thanks for the visit (:

Champagne Macarons said...

Wonderful post. I feel very fortunate to have a wonderful husband that is more than I could have every hoped for. I have never known a man that is patient enough to stand in the cosmetic department, credit card in hand, while I pick the perfect lipstick, nail polish and blush, although it can take an hour... then the shoe department, etc. lol. That is true love.

Kathy said...

I have wonderful friends....
My Husband is my Best.
Kindred Spirit.
xo, Kathy @
Sweet Up-North Mornings...

Debbie Petras said...

Very interesting thoughts on this one. I have lots of girlfriends that I love and have fun with. My husband is the closest one to me of all. But you're right; it's a different relationship. I'm grateful for both.

Blessings and love,

Rebecca said...

I see what you mean, Lea! Thankfully, given the choice between time with a best friend and my husband, I'd choose my husband just about every time. But there ARE some things I wouldn't think of subjecting him to..... :)

Hailey said...

Love this post. It made me tear up. I'm grateful to have parents who are still in love.

Jodie | Velour said...

mine is not either, though i do enjoy him. honestly it took us all of 10 years to get to even THAT. i'm content for him to just be my 'friend'. i have enough best friends - the kind you described. i'm happy to just finally be in a marriage that we can both enjoy.