Friday, September 16, 2011

first baby

dear emily,

when our first baby boy was born, my mom gave me some oscar
de la renta lotion.  i remember thinking, "now he will know i'm
his mommy, because i will always smell like this."  i wasn't
allowed to nurse him or hold him.

the NICU nurse told us we must not even touch him, as it could
agitate him and deflate his lungs again.   my heart broke as i stood
beside his pathetic little body, arms and legs splayed out, purple
chest sinking to the mattress, tubes connected in too many places.

i couldn't imagine that his tiny hand holding my baby finger might
upset him; so i disobeyed.   all day long, every day for 12 days, i
stood with my back to the nurses and my finger in his hand.  my
whole life was in that precious hand.

by the 12th day his lungs had strengthened, and  a nurse informed
us that they had been slowly reducing his sedative.  she could tell
he was more alert,  because he grasped her finger for the first
time.  :)

"now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what
we do not see."  hebrews 11:1

that baby boy is the big guy on the right!



Jenners said...

How heartbreaking not to be able to hold your first little baby for 10 whole days! I couldn't imagine!!! Nice to see the fragile little boy all grown up!!

Sonja said...

oh I just LOVE this blog! What a picture. Nobody trumps the heart of a mom, certainly not that nurse. :)

And what a picture of how our God holds us, even if it's by a tiny finger grasp sometimes.

What a great looking guy!! Have you reminded him of the fact that it's because of his mom and her firm faith as she held onto his finger. I bet you have.. I know I would have!! :)


Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Oh my mother gave me the same thing with my first born. It was my third that had to be kept in a bed because of jaundice, no holding, little black glasses and huge lights over him...and he was the smallest of my six...he too is now the largest of them all.

God is so faithful!!! And He collects all those mommy tears and hears our prayers...then and now!

Thanks for sharing your story and encouraging us all! What a handsome young man.

MyMaracas said...

What a touching post. And it just goes to show, Mom really does know best.

Sassy Granny ... said...

Absolutely precious!

My youngest was born at 4lbs 10oz, and for such a long time he was a skinny little runt. That all changed when he discovered pizza. Today he's 38, 6' 2" and roughly 190 lbs.

I thank God that your little guy became such a big guy too!

Thistle Cove Farm said...

God the miracle business; give the little big guy a hug for me, Lea.

Tamara said...

Oh Lea! What a wonderful post and such a tribute to the strength and determination of the Mommies! Hugz!

myletterstoemily said...

sonja: good idea!

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

What a wonderful story, Lea. It is always good to hold onto hope, even in the most dire circumstances. I'm so happy that your son flourished and grew!

MARIA said...

I love your blog also,
but my English is not good.

A lot of blessings!

FrenchGardenHouse said...

What a great post!! God is so good, isn't He? xo Lidy

My Farmhouse Kitchen said...

what a sweet story...happy to stop by today, my friend

kary and teddy

Together We Save said...

Oh wow - your boy has gotten big!!

Deborah Ann said...

I would have disobeyed too. How can anyone not? He doesn't appear to have suffered too much in the long run for it, though. He's a strapping boy/man! :D

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

I love your memories of your itty bitty boy holding on to his mom's sweet...your touch was a sweet connection. What a wonderful praise! What a blessing to have your "baby boy" all grown up :o)

Blessings & Aloha!

Silver Strands said...

You gave me goosebumps. THANK YOU for this post.

Anne Lyken-Garner said...

Such a touching story. He's indeed a big lad!

I have to always remind myself to have faith when life gets tough.

Joan Elizabeth said...

Lea, I missed this post. It is always a joy to read your heartwarming stories.