Monday, September 20, 2010

terror by day

dear emily,

janette, vee, and my friend from HHL have all inspired me with their
incredibly vulnerable blogs.  why does it make us feel better when
someone else is struggling?

i think it's because our own battles are somehow validated.  one of my
conflicts is the fear of flying, something i have to do a lot.

google image

this past week we took off from the beautiful denver airport on a
glorious indian summer day.  unfortunately, the warm air combined
with the mountain updrafts created a turbulent 'sit op.'  the pilot
followed a bizarre flight pattern for 20 minutes, flying only 1,000 feet
above the ground.    did i say flying?

i meant bouncing and careening.

on top of that (no pun intended), we were piddling around at 300
miles per hour, half the normal speed.  it felt like riding a bucking
bronco in slow motion . . . endlessly.  the terror smothered me as i
imagine the hood used to stifle the victim before his hanging.

the Lord and i have been in this situation thousands of times and
He knows me so well.  His word comforted my heart, even though
my mind was still a little undone.

"fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you.  I will UPHOLD you with
my righteous right hand."  isaiah 41:10

hans encouraged me with good common sense, "it's only bumpy
air.  close your eyes and imagine an old gravel road.  the plane can
easily handle this."  but could i?

now i feel ashamed of my terror, my weakness, myself.  maybe,
though, it will make you feel a little better about yours.

love,
lea

34 comments:

Farm Girl said...

Well Lea, I think anyone would be afraid in that kind of turbulence. I have only been in that kind and it was flying over Lake Michigan from Chicago to Grand Rapids. I think you are really brave to keep flying. Only a really brave person keeps on doing the hard thing they are afraid of, you shouldn't be ashamed.
The kids had a song from a old tape called GT and the Halo Express and one of the songs was " When I am afraid I will trust in you." Psalm 56:3
I still sing it to myself.
David wrote it so he must have felt afraid sometimes too.
You are so sweet to share.

Single and Sane said...

I have an irrational fear of water so I know it doesn't help for people who don't share your fear to tell you it's nothing. It's amazing how he still manages to get through to comfort us, even in the face of those fears that we have trouble overcoming on our own.

Single and Sane said...

Just to clarify - I didn't mean to imply that your fears were irrational in your situation last week. The start to that flight sounded like pure torture. Yikes!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Happy to hear that all was well. Heck we drive to Mammoth Lakes each summer and my husband will see my eyes closed asking me if I am sleeping. NOT! I am praying like crazy because he is the passing king of the road and I fear for my life. I don't like to fly so I don't go many places but I am missing out on the world.

Anita said...

I don't think anyone would enjoy that kind of turbulence at 1000 feet! My husband is a pilot, and he could not take it I'm sure. Nor, would he take passengers that low if it were so bumpy. I have flown thousands of miles and I get nervous if it's too crazy. You are normal!!

Sandy said...

I am not a real fan of flying
either, Lea. I don't know too
many people who are--except
my sweet husband. He just
loves flying. Nothing to be
ashamed of. We are all mere
mortals with all kinds of
weaknesses, flaws, and failures.
Thank God He loves us anyway.
Love,
Sandy

Vickie said...

I don't like flying either, but I will. My big fear is going to the dentist. I go, but I absolutely hate it. My fingernails are embedded into the armrests in the chair, and tears slip out of my closed eyes each time I'm there. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack! I'm sure my dentist thinks I'm a nutcase, but oh well... But, WE CAN DO THIS with God's help and we can get through it!

Sonja said...

You said all of it... the fear, the comfort of your heart, and a little less so in your mind. Yep... once again Lea, I relate!! :) The sweet little innocent plane you pictured was not at all what I feel in one of the big silver bumpy flying ones!

Uncanny Colleen said...

Yikes! That sounds like a flight that would make anyone nervous about flying!

Our smallest guy is currently afraid of the sweet potato plant that I have in a mason jar on the counter for one of the older boys' science project. Can you say 'Sheltered'?

I can't tell you how many times I have quoted that scripture to/over one of our boys while on the way back down the hall to their rooms in the middle of the night. I didn't think much of it until I found Boy #3 in Boy #2's bed one morning. When I asked why they were in the same bed, Boy#2 said that #3 was fixing to come down the hall to our room. So, he told him that verse, and #3 crawled into his bed and went to sleep!

They can be so sweet, when they want to be!

Cindy - Letters From Midlife said...

I share your fear of flying. It's something I will need to overcome because our eldest daughter lives in California and we live in Indiana and there will be grandchildren someday...

I will hope the Lord will sustain me through it as He did you.

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Love this....and yes it does help to know others are going through different challenges...thanks for mentioning me...LOL

This mornings walk I just laid it all down...too much to even get my head wrapped around, but He can handle it!!!

I wouldn't have made that flight...you would have been cleaning up vomit!!!

But He seems to be putting me through a lot of those flights lately...so glad He doesn't mind vomit!!!

Have a great week...thanks for the encouraging words on my post and for being in the journey also!!!

God is good!

High Heeled Life said...

Oh my goodness, that does sound scary .. this coming from someone who adores being on planes and has experienced many wobbly flights.

Lea thank you for the mention... I stopped for a visit to Janette's & Vee's corner of blogLand they are truly inspiring and amazing women .. I am humbled to be included in the same sentence as them.. thank you for your sweet words.

I was doing my prayers last night and there was Hailey's name .. How is she doing in Brazil? how long will she be there? I know that her mision work will bring so hope to many. Hugs..HHL

Cheri Bunch said...

The more I fly the less I enjoy it. It seems like there is more and more weird stuff happening in the friendly skies. I am always relieved to get both wheels back on the ground. Thank for being real.
Blessings,
Cheri

Vee said...

What a great description life when I allow my thoughts to get out of control. I can tell you this...I would not have enjoyed that plane ride one little bit and there'd be no calming my "thought life" while actually bouncing along like that. Good thing Hans was with you to hold your hand. Nope, that was a perfectly human reaction.

Thank you for the link love!

Lisa said...

Bless your heart! I can imagine that the flight was quite terrifying. Tell Hans that AIR should not be rocky or hard.:)

myletterstoemily said...

dear high heels,

thank you so much for praying for and
asking about my daughter, hailey. that
means more than you can ever know.

she's doing great!

Sonja said...

I never know where to 'comment on a comment'... just sayin' that your comment cracked me up...actually, man's 'chief end' and the sacrifice of thanks.. it all works together for good... doesn't it??

Your train of thought made me alugh... it's just like my train of thought tends to be, and then I wonder... does it even make sense?? It did!! :)

Hugs to you, and prayers continue for Hailey!

Sonja said...

ps... either I need to go back to first grade and learn to spell, or I need a new keyboard!! Make that last comment 'laugh', instead of 'alugh'... :(

Susan B said...

Oh Lea..
I don't have a fear of flying, but I imagine I would feel the same if I had been on that flight. It's hard not to feel afraid when you have a flight like that. You are very brave to fly when you have a fear of flying. The verse you quoted is definitely one to hold on to. Don't feel ashamed, we all have fears... Thank you for sharing about it...it will benefit someone else. God bless you, my friend. :)

Jemm said...

I don't like airplanes either. Not one little bit!

Blondie's Journal said...

I think Hans words would have calmed me a bit, but I am finding that stranger and stranger things are happening when flying. I'm happy everyone is okay!

xoxo
Jane

Jenners said...

Turbulence on an airplane is scary ... especially when you're not the happiest flyer to begin with.

Maybe you should only fly on planes that look like the ones in your picture ... that plane looks perfectly safe!

Darcie said...

Isn't that that truth...when we share it make others not feel so alone even in their fears. No matter what a persons fears...it is real to them and very nerve wrecking. Sorry about the rough start for you...not fun.

Southern Lady said...

I am not a good flyer, even on the best of days. I can totally relate to your terror. I would have been right there with you. Carla

myletterstoemily said...

sonja,
i will alugh with you anytime!

Hold my hand: a social worker's blog said...

Flying can be frightening, especially with turbulence. I always pray before flying and it seems to help me to relax and enjoy.

Doris

Girl Meets Paris said...

I used to feel guilty about fear... and then one day I realized... maybe the reason God put "Do not fear" in the Bible so many times, is because he KNEW we would fear. Duh! No more guilt for me... I try now to face my fears one at a time, take a deep breath in of prayer, and exhale a large 'Thank you Lord for your presence and the incredible fact that you are ALWAYS there when I need you... even if it's just to say... HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" :)

Gloria said...

This would make me a little weak in the knees with fear! Glad God helped you get through it all!! :)
Sweet blessings to you,
Gloria @}~`}~~~

Sandra said...

Oh dear Lea...I don't feel better when I see others going through trials and tribulations. Now, that's not what you said but, already, my memory is failing me and it seemed such a short walk to leave a comment. sigh.
Flying can be exciting and I always figure the pilot doesn't want to die any more than do I. I hate you don't like to fly; it's so wonderful, being that physically close to God and heaven.
Thank you for visiting me when my back was hurting; you're appreciated!

Joan Elizabeth said...

I don't mind flying at all but the turbulence may well have made me sick which would have been embarrassing. Great verse for all of life's troublesome moments.

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

I like flying, but not when there are the bumps and rough riding that you had! I have always wondered what it would be like to ride in a helicopter...my hubby flew them in the Army...but wehn it came down to it, if I had the chance to ride in one...hm...maybe best to just wonder :o) I am chicken at any fast rollercoaster or other amusement rides...so am forever the one to happily hold everyone's things and be the picture taker on the ground!

You know, when I hear of someone else going through what I may be going through, it does help in a way, since I know that I am not the only one experiencing a challenge...like when our son was diagnosed with lymphoma. And it is a blessing to know that the Lord healed him and that our son's experience, healing, and current good health has blessed and encouraged others going through similar challenges now.

Blessings & Aloha!
I am off today so catching up on blog reading, before my appts and errands. Thankyou dar friend for stopping by! and I am so happy we met in this amazing blog world!

Cheri Bunch said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog, Lea. No computer classes just by guess and by golly for me. I think you have one of the most attractive blogs I have ever seen. I LOVE your style. I think you are amazing!!!
Blessings,
Cheri

Secret Garden Cottage said...

Hi Lea,
I think you're right... other people's suffering does let us know we're not alone out there when we're suffering, too.
I don't think you should feel ashamed for having fear... we all do about something. I have a fear of flying, too (ever since 9/11). You should feel proud of yourself for facing your fear. :)
Thanks for the wonderful read.
Have a great day,
~ Jo :)

Debbi said...

Oh, you poor, poor Dear!