Thursday, February 17, 2011

i am a bad driver

if you quote me, i will deny it, because i will never admit this to
my husband or kids.

i am a bad driver.

i can't drive between the lines, park between the lines, or read
between the lines.  at stop lights, i become distracted with the
woman brushing her hair in the car beside me, and someone
always has to honk to urge me through the green light.

one time i saw a fireman standing at the intersection with one
of his boots.  "sir, did you lose your other boot?"

because i sing at the top of my lungs in the car, ambulances have
to turn up the volume of their sirens to get me to pull over.   i
turned off the cd player yesterday but kept hearing some music.
what in the world?

my cell phone.  hans had called 4 times.  "sorry honey, can't
imagine why i didn't hear my phone."

policemen tip their hats to me, because i have sent so many of
their kids to college through my violations donations.

i try to do my part for the community.


ps.  "give, and it will be given to you. a good measure, pressed
down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into
your lap.  for with the measure you use, it will be measured to
you."  luke 6:38


Jenny said...

Uh oh. We might be twins! My husband sometimes jumps out of his skin when I've been driving his car cuz I have the radio cranked up so loud! ha!

Meg said...

Donations! LOL! That's hilarious. :)

Rachel said...

Hee hee! So you're the woman I feel sorry for as I drive past the flashing lights on the shoulder? :)

And I love that you found a verse for this!

Vee said...

Oh the things you confess! :D

I hate to urge drivers through green-lights, but this does help me understand why I sometimes must.

High Heeled Life said...

Loved the "donations" .... your psot made me smile ...I think many of us fall into the same basket...xo HHL

Southern Lady said...

Too funny! I love your honesty! Carla

Debbie said...

haha...enjoyed this...Have a wonderful week-end! HUGS

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Too, too funny...well you and my daughter are helping out our communities...she would love this...and yes, she sings at the top of her lungs.
Oh just finished reading a picture book to Benjamin...the character's name was Hans!
Have an awesome weekend...roll down those car windows and fill the air with your voice!!

Farm Girl said...

You are so cute. Well you know Lea, we all have to do our part for the community. :)

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

I am a very careful driver to a fault. Expressway scare me as i ahte to go too fast! I am the driver everyone passes up and goes around. It's not a good thing, either!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I'm a slow driver... my college sons make great fun of me, but I really don't care. I'm not a rusher; if the sirens blow on my behalf, it will be because I'm driving too slow!

Very funny post.


Janette@Janette's Sage said...

My daughter called today all excited...God had given her favor and she will not be helping the community as much this month!!! You are the greatest!
You will have to listen to the song I am posting this weekend...too cute and it has this in it!
Have a song filled weekend!!

Susan B said...

Oh Lea, you always make me smile!

Have a wonderful weekend! :)

A Tale of Two Cities said...

We promise not to tell your husband and kids, because I'm sure this would all be news to them!

Such honesty!

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

I thought you just told me I was the only officer you knew. hahahaha
Sounds like you might be on first name basis with a few.
Your so funny...turn that radio down I might be calling you
Love ya

Sonja said...

oh I have done my share too! I crossed the MOST pale divided line as I stared at the cop in the parking lot who immediately flashed his lights and fined me $185!! How on earth was I supposed to know you couldn't cross that beige line??

I sing too, or I pray, usually pleading my case about something!

Jenners said...

I will confess ... I'm not the best driver either. (And never ever ask me to parallel park. Can't do it!)

Anonymous said...

What a cute post. You have me giggling with your confession. Wishing you a wonderful weekend free of any violations!!!

Anne Lyken-Garner said...

Funny post. Confession makes the spirit lighter too. :-)

I'm a good driver. I can't find my way around and always have to use my satnav (GPS - I think it's called in the US), but despite this, I'm okay.

Joan Elizabeth said...

Loved your story ... it made me laugh, especially when I reached the scripture verse.

I am a bad driver only when my husband is in the car. It amazes me that when I drive alone that I manage to get to and from unscathed without his advice!

I don't sing in the car but I never hear the phone. People have to tell me it is ringing. Maybe one day I should go for a hearing test.

Ruth said...

this is funny and so cute too...:)

have a good weekend!!


Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Teeeeheeee! I never would have imagined you as being a bad driver lea! I LOVE HOW YOU HAVE PUT MANY COPS' KIDS THROUGH SCHOOL!!!!! And yes, GRAY IS THE NEW TURQUOISE, but I still have splashes of that eternal blue in my home!!! THANK YOU FOR VISITING! Anita

Personalized Sketches and Sentiments said...

oh! I can definitely relate to some of your examples! haha

Stay safe!
Blessings & Aloha!
& thank you dear friend for your sweet comment.

Jenn said...

So funny! This definitely made me laugh!

Cheri Bunch said...

I would love to be your designated driver! I always drive my mom and her friends around claiming that I am driving Miss Daisy and friends! I think you and I could have fun.

Loved this one!


Bree said...

:) and we embrace with joy who He created us to be! thankful to have you for my big sister :)
have a blessed weekend sweet lea!

Champagne Macarons said...

Your post is too cute! I, too, have made my share of 'donations', particularly as a teen/young adult wearing heavy shoes ;)
Wishing you a most lovely weekend!
xoxo, B

Joan Elizabeth said...

So glad things are OK with your Dad.

koralee said...

So cute...I can't park if my life depended on it! xoxoxo Happy Sunday to you.

Thistle Cove Farm said...

I love it when firemen hold out their boots for donations; how clever! You're a bad driver, eh? I probably am but am totally unaware -smile-. Generally, the worst traffic jam I see around here are cattle, sometimes sheep and horses.
Lea, many thanks for your kind comments and prayers. When I've been overwhelmed, it's helped me to remember you and others have stood in the gap and prayed for Dave and I. God bless you.

Kaye Swain - SandwichINK for the Sandwich Generation said...

I had such a fun time reading the last few posts. I can relate - both to many of these as well as the loving to stay home - though I don't need to find ways to get - God keeps doing it, mostly through grandkids, as well as doctor visits and other duties while caring for elderly parents :) And please know, you and your family are in my prayers! :) Have a blessed and peaceful week!

Melissa~ said...


I definitely cannot "park between the lines" either, so you are not alone.

I think I'm getting better as I get older, but I did "donate" quite a bit to the community in college. It's a little embarrassing now, but at least I have stories to tell my young sons to scare them!

♥ Melissa~

Jen said...

How funny! At least you admit to it, I can't get my hubby to crack! LOL

Happy Monday!

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

Well here I go adding to this longgggggggggggggg list of comments..Ms. Popular!!! LOL
I posted a song for you on Saturday...go listen to it...I hope it makes you smile!! I am sure you have a better let's see, when can we hear it?????

Anonymous said...

Ha! You're so funny ...I never thought of blogs as places for "true confessions." I've often wondered how many people I have caused to laugh out loud as they watched me try to park! My teen boys love to tease me about it!

Jodie | Velour said...

You are adorable. :)

Vickie said...

Oh my goodness! I thought you were talking about me! This was so funny, Lea! The only other thing I do is back into the garage doors before they get opened all the way...

kisatrtle said...

so these are signs of bad driving? Really? You're keeping this on the low down aren't ya?