Monday, December 14, 2009

mothers and fathers

dear emily,

it is extremely difficult to parent effectively if our marriages are a wreck.
you know this, because you counseled our precious shelby before her
marriage, and your marriage is an inspiration to her and dan.  what a
prince she has for a husband!

the foundation of our families is the relationship we have with our
husbands. if we do not have a loving, fulfilling marriage, the chances
are good that the children will not have a secure, happy childhood.
now that our little ones have left the nest, i can assure you that i am
very grateful that hans and i not only still love each other, but LIKE
each other, too!

we must respect our husbands.  we show him respect in many small
ways that add up quickly to make him feel honored.  listen to his
stories from work and be attentive to his devotions to our children.
let our children see how much we  admire him.  we must never, ever
speak in sarcastic tones, roll our eyes, or murmur under our breath.
these are all signs of disrespect that the kids will mimic.

resolve differences in a congenial manner.  it is not necessary to yell
or be ugly to offer an opinion.  this will teach our children how to
address disagreements in a positive way.  we model more than we
teach.  when we prefer each other, we are teaching our children to
do that, also.

they need to understand that the core of our family is not them but
their mother and father, yielding to their heavenly Father.  the children
are part of that solar system but not its center.  (got that from hans)

"...let the wife see that she respects her husband."  ephesians 5:3



letters to emily said...

i realize that some of you are married to difficult men to respect. if your marriage is in real trouble, please see your pastor or a trained counselor. think of a broken marriage like a broken arm and get professional help...if not for yourself then for your children.

if your husband is abusive...get out!!!!

Margaret said...

Wonderful advice for moms and dads. Treating one another with respect is a great example for your children, and it will strengthen a marriage. Even for divorced parents, it's important to remember that when you dishonor your child's other parent, you dishonor your child.

letters to emily said...

amen, sister!