Tuesday, November 10, 2009

snakes on the plane

dear emily,

i keep seeing commercials for this silly movie called 'snakes on the plane.' anyone who fears snakes on a plane has never been on one with a baby!

the terror rises while you stumble down the entry ramp towards the cabin door. the lovely and skinny young flight attendant is not happy to see you carrying your 15 pound baby, his 25 pound diaper bag, balancing your ticket and his pacifier between your first and second fingers, and dragging the stroller behind.

you are praying that your seatmate is an understanding and helpful mommy, maybe even your own mommy! 6 A B, 7 A B, 8 A B...you smile nervously at the intimidating business man in his very expensive pinstripe suit and reptile shoes.

he does not smile back.

your sweet baby, who is vibing on your stress, is already getting a little fussy.

the thought of nursing your baby, with an uptight executive next to you, makes you want to wean him. then, horrors, your precious baby throws up all over mr. pinstripe, who hisses with displeasure.

your baby, however, is now content and sleepy, and you no longer care about a snake on the plane.





2 comments:

Hailey said...

this is my favorite by FAR!

letters to emily said...

are you making fun of me?