dear emily,
a sweet, young friend was telling me how lonely it can be as a mom and how much she longs for more encouragement and adult companionship. as much as she adores her little boys, they can't really converse about cultural events, politics, or fashion. her precious husband can only answer so many, "does this make me look fat?" questions.
my friends and i, along with our numerous kiddos, had standing play dates at the park, lunches at mcdonalds, and bible studies at the church. the children enjoyed these outings as much as we did and were motivated to finish chores and school to have some fun.
it's much more rewarding to push the swing for the 100th time, while commiserating with a friend about her marriage, lack of sleep, and Christmas errands. exchanging a glance with someone who understands, helps ease the frustration of untangling another skirmish on the playground.
as women, we have such an intense need for fellowship that we have to feed it...or become lonely. in the olden days, they sewed or canned together. we have to figure out what we can do.
a few things come to mind: take turns helping each other with housework, let the kids watch a movie while we wrap packages together, have baking days, etc. any chore is more fun with a friend.
it is comforting to know that the Lord understands all about our need for companionship and even described Himself as a friend who sticks closer than a brother. He also gently leads those with little ones. how precious is that?
Thursday, December 3, 2009
deep and wide
dear emily,
a wise woman steered me to the scriptures when praying for my children. i just insert their names and pray, believing He is able to do what He says.
ephesians 3:14-19
"for this reason i kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. i pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen ____ with power through His Spirit in their inner being, so that Christ may dwell in their hearts through faith.
and i pray that they, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how WIDE and LONG and HIGH and DEEP is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-
that they may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
love,
lea
ps. i include your little ones, too.
a wise woman steered me to the scriptures when praying for my children. i just insert their names and pray, believing He is able to do what He says.
ephesians 3:14-19
"for this reason i kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. i pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen ____ with power through His Spirit in their inner being, so that Christ may dwell in their hearts through faith.
and i pray that they, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how WIDE and LONG and HIGH and DEEP is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-
that they may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
love,
lea
ps. i include your little ones, too.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
the governor of cereal
dear emily,
i have been thinking about the fun Christmas traditions we enjoyed with our kids. the first craft was to make red and green paper chains with 25 links. each day the kids would take turns cutting off one link to show how close we were to Christmas day. we decorated yummy Christmas cookies and gingerbread men and assembled gingerbread houses that were loaded with every kind of candy imaginable.
my aunt fern started me a collection of Christmas books that we treasure. some of the loveliest tales ever written are Christmas stories. i especially love one about a lonely young bride who makes a Christmas dinner for her family and the farm hands. it paints a moving picture of selfless love, simplicity, and gratitude.
as an act of rebellion, i play Christmas music on halloween and throughout the season. it makes me happy that at Christmas i can hear Jesus' name lifted up in all the places He is no longer allowed! i have stood in endless grocery store lines humming along to "do you hear what i hear? and o holy night." that only happens at Christmas. my kids think i am nutty about Christmas music.
when the children were really little, they enacted the Christmas story. isaac was joseph, shelby played mary, max was the donkey, sunday and hailey traded between being sheep, shepherds, angels, or the inn keeper. we also memorized luke 2 and recited it each year. the little ones inevitably said, "when quirinius was the governor of cereal." i didn't have the heart to correct them, because it was just so sweet.
merry Christmas,
lea
i have been thinking about the fun Christmas traditions we enjoyed with our kids. the first craft was to make red and green paper chains with 25 links. each day the kids would take turns cutting off one link to show how close we were to Christmas day. we decorated yummy Christmas cookies and gingerbread men and assembled gingerbread houses that were loaded with every kind of candy imaginable.
my aunt fern started me a collection of Christmas books that we treasure. some of the loveliest tales ever written are Christmas stories. i especially love one about a lonely young bride who makes a Christmas dinner for her family and the farm hands. it paints a moving picture of selfless love, simplicity, and gratitude.
as an act of rebellion, i play Christmas music on halloween and throughout the season. it makes me happy that at Christmas i can hear Jesus' name lifted up in all the places He is no longer allowed! i have stood in endless grocery store lines humming along to "do you hear what i hear? and o holy night." that only happens at Christmas. my kids think i am nutty about Christmas music.
when the children were really little, they enacted the Christmas story. isaac was joseph, shelby played mary, max was the donkey, sunday and hailey traded between being sheep, shepherds, angels, or the inn keeper. we also memorized luke 2 and recited it each year. the little ones inevitably said, "when quirinius was the governor of cereal." i didn't have the heart to correct them, because it was just so sweet.
merry Christmas,
lea
Thursday, November 26, 2009
psalms 100
dear emily,
'make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.'
nobody does this better than children. while your hands are greasy from stuffing the turkey, you can bet
there will be a very loud noise erupt from the farthest corner of your house.
'serve the Lord with gladness: come before His presence with singing.'
in assigning chores for the thanksgiving feast, remind the little noisemakers that servants are the heroes in the Kingdom.
'know ye that the Lord He is God: it is He that has made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people and the sheep of his pasture.
enter His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise; be thankful unto Him and bless His name.'
we used to share what we were thankful for before eating the thanksgiving meal. if someone was a little nervous speaking in front of our huge extended family, i would read it for him. i think someone said,
'halloween candy' one year.
'for the Lord is good: His mercy is everlasting: and His truth endureth to all generations.'
amen!
happy thanksgiving,
lea
'make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.'
nobody does this better than children. while your hands are greasy from stuffing the turkey, you can bet
there will be a very loud noise erupt from the farthest corner of your house.
'serve the Lord with gladness: come before His presence with singing.'
in assigning chores for the thanksgiving feast, remind the little noisemakers that servants are the heroes in the Kingdom.
'know ye that the Lord He is God: it is He that has made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people and the sheep of his pasture.
enter His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise; be thankful unto Him and bless His name.'
we used to share what we were thankful for before eating the thanksgiving meal. if someone was a little nervous speaking in front of our huge extended family, i would read it for him. i think someone said,
'halloween candy' one year.
'for the Lord is good: His mercy is everlasting: and His truth endureth to all generations.'
amen!
happy thanksgiving,
lea
Thursday, November 19, 2009
dear emily,
i awoke in the middle of the night, thinking, "i really need to alert emily about teenagers!" even though you still have six or seven years until that time, it will help you to keep this in your cap until then.
many of our friends parented with the goal of helping their kids to make only good decisions, which is a fine aspiration. unfortunately, it is like wishing for an ocean and beach to miraculously appear in your backyard!
it is inherent for teens to make foolish and dangerous choices, because they think they are indestructible.
if you can accept this now, you will parent it better then. when they slip up, try to encourage yourself with the truth that they rarely do it to hurt you. we know this is true, because, honestly they don't think about their parents often. :)
another comforting reality is that while they are still at home, they have you to pull them up by their bootstraps, love them, forgive them, and correct them. every poor choice and consequence will hopefully inoculate them from repetition after they leave home.
your gracious yet firm response will, more importantly, rebuild their fragile egos with your unconditional love.
pray psalm 91 over them each day and trust that the One who holds them in the palm of His hand
will keep them from serious harm.
love,
lea
i awoke in the middle of the night, thinking, "i really need to alert emily about teenagers!" even though you still have six or seven years until that time, it will help you to keep this in your cap until then.
many of our friends parented with the goal of helping their kids to make only good decisions, which is a fine aspiration. unfortunately, it is like wishing for an ocean and beach to miraculously appear in your backyard!
it is inherent for teens to make foolish and dangerous choices, because they think they are indestructible.
if you can accept this now, you will parent it better then. when they slip up, try to encourage yourself with the truth that they rarely do it to hurt you. we know this is true, because, honestly they don't think about their parents often. :)
another comforting reality is that while they are still at home, they have you to pull them up by their bootstraps, love them, forgive them, and correct them. every poor choice and consequence will hopefully inoculate them from repetition after they leave home.
your gracious yet firm response will, more importantly, rebuild their fragile egos with your unconditional love.
pray psalm 91 over them each day and trust that the One who holds them in the palm of His hand
will keep them from serious harm.
love,
lea
peanut gallery comments, please!
dear emily,
hans said that i should open this up for other moms to post advice, and i think that is a great idea! i was a little worried about 'weird' postings, but after reviewing some of mine think they would fit right in...
then my friend, yleana, told me that she wasn't able to comment on my letters. after checking, i discovered that i had inadvertently pushed a button to not allow comments! this is basically how i raised my kids..."no comments from children, please." :)
so, if you or your friends remember wonderful...or terrible things your moms did, just push the comment button and enlighten us!
love,
lea
ps. happy thanksgiving to your little turkeys!
hans said that i should open this up for other moms to post advice, and i think that is a great idea! i was a little worried about 'weird' postings, but after reviewing some of mine think they would fit right in...
then my friend, yleana, told me that she wasn't able to comment on my letters. after checking, i discovered that i had inadvertently pushed a button to not allow comments! this is basically how i raised my kids..."no comments from children, please." :)
so, if you or your friends remember wonderful...or terrible things your moms did, just push the comment button and enlighten us!
love,
lea
ps. happy thanksgiving to your little turkeys!
pss...
"my mom made us verbalize the bad stuff we did or said and also tell her our motivation. sorry was not good enough. lesson: own what you have done before moving on." -jordania
"independent moms can sure create dependent children...we tend to jump in faster...and what does
this child learn? to keep coming to me...and to question her own judgment!" -lael
"independent moms can sure create dependent children...we tend to jump in faster...and what does
this child learn? to keep coming to me...and to question her own judgment!" -lael
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